Here is the link for the full video: https://youtu.be/xUUjUZHgipo
Cognitive reframing or restructuring is a therapeutic process that helps individuals identify, challenge and modify irrational or negative thoughts. For the first couple of days, focus on what you tell yourself, about yourself. If you use words that are quite absolute, like “never”, “always”, “every single time” or “definitely”, it might be a great activity for you!
There are a few things that are definite, such as specific math problems or things like, if we are thirsty, we know drinking a glass of water will help quench our thirst. But do we know for sure that we are definitely NOT going to get the job position if we apply for it? Do we know for sure that we are going to be horrible in an interview? No, we don’t.
But when we tell ourselves this, and we start to believe this, it might very well start to be the truth. The more we tell ourselves that we won’t be able to do something, the more every part of us will start to believe it. So how do we reframe? We first identify the definite statements that we tell ourselves. Then we change it to the more probable experience and we show our emotions a little more.
For example: If tell ourselves “I am definitely not going to get the job” we can change it to, “I get a bit anxious in interviews”. This gives us something to work from – we can now work on the feelings and emotions that are part of this – we can prepare for the interview, we can watch videos and we can give ourselves credit for trying.
Let’s try with the following statements to reframe these and then give yourself a coping skill (think mindfulness) to manage the emotions we are feeling:
“My child is struggling every single day”
“I am definitely not able to work and take care of my child”
“I am always too tired to play with my children”
“My relationship is doomed as we are too busy to pay attention to each other”
“I wake up depressed”
“My children are never happy being with me”
Think of ways to reframe it and how to help yourself (or the person feeling this way) in managing the emotions that are part of these thoughts. Remember our thoughts change the way we feel and how we react. If we can work on reframing our thoughts, we give our emotions and reactions a better chance of coping more successfully! And thus, we give our children a calmer parent.
You can do this!
Here is the link again for the full video: https://youtu.be/xUUjUZHgipo