I definitely didn’t start writing blogs with the intent to try and prove to anyone that AIMS is better than this or that therapeutic modality. We donât even see AIMS as a competitor to ABA, Floortime, Playtherapy or any of the other ones, as we feel itâs more a âway of lifeâ, rather than a specific therapeutic modality. Saying that, there is one thing that I strongly disagree with that we were taught as ABA therapists. We were told not to teach a child to say ânoâ as, and I quote one of the supervisors âthey will say no to everythingâ. The “yes/no” lesson was implemented much later in the kids’ programs…Â
I think this was the day I fell out of love with what I thought was a brilliant way of teaching a child. Of course, once you open your eyes in any situation, other tactics or strategies donât make sense either, but for today, I will focus on why itâs crucial to teach your child how to say ânoâ or âbreakâ in whatever mode they choose to communicate in. Â
I understand from a behavioristâs point of view that they are concerned about the amount of âmandsâ (requests) they receive per day from a child. They want to show their supervisor that they can increase these “mands” on a daily basis⦠Thinking of trying to increase my vocabulary on a daily basis makes me feel quite anxious, but okay. The problem that I have is not helping your client (or child) to state what they donât want and how to request for a break. Â
Kids are kids, they will always try and get out of things they donât necessarily like – such as completing boring homework 🙂 but thatâs not why I am uneasy about the philosophy of not teaching a child to say no – itâs the essence of what we are teaching that child, who will become a young adult and constantly be reminded of this lesson. You canât say no, you have to complete what I tell you to complete. I am in charge of you. I beg all therapists to please make sure they firstly help their clients to be able to say ânoâ or âbreakâ. Â
The strategy that we use is to always, from the start of sessions, include a âbreakâ card. They are always able to ask for breaks – we can keep these short and fun, but they can receive a break whenever they need to move away from a task, a group, a person or a situation. We also teach our kids to say “no” (in whatever mode of communication is easiest for them) from the start. We have seen how our kids are willing to return when they see that you listen to their requests. Is that not a better philosophy to instil in our kids – mutual respect? Â
Anyways, let me know your thoughts as Iâm sure I might upset a few ABA therapists (maybe even some of my ex-colleagues) who believe that they do ABA differently⦠I thought that too once and although I still believe my sessions were always fun, there are definitely some strategies that I feel upset in retrospect for implementing – such as âfloodingâ one of our kids with the word âsorryâ as he didnât believe that accidents are not on purpose. We were told to “flood” him with the word âsorryâ (mention this throughout his sessions way too frequently). Thatâs just cruel. We, at AIMS Global and AIMS Online have made a promise to all our current and future clients that we will show them mutual respect, always. Â
Enjoy the weekend, Â
Karla Â