There has to be someone.
After my last blog, I have been thinking quite a bit. I realise that I may have sounded quite negative last week and I was feeling a bit lonely, but now I am determined to make some sort of plan.
I asked myself so many questions – what was wrong with me? Why canāt I be like other moms with young kids, just chatting about their beautiful child (and have nothing else to have a meaningful conversation about)? I know why, and I have never wanted to answer that question out loud. Itās because of Joeā¦
Okay, Iām back…I needed a few tissues and some fresh air for a moment.
āItās because of Joeā¦ā – itās not that any of those previous āfriendsā said anything nasty about Joe, but you just get that feeling of sympathetic looks when others speak about their childrenās accomplishments and then the stares of absolute horror when Joe would be completely overwhelmed āand his mom even tried to comfort him, he just needs disciplineā (obviously they just saw it as a tantrum).
So, after a few failed attempts at friendship, I have been back to being on my own and I am okay with that, but now I need someone to speak to. I need someone to listen.
I now realise that I am probably not going to find that person in friendship circles, perhaps I need to pay someone to listen to me??? How bizarre is that thought?!
But wait, maybe itās not such a bad idea – surely a professional would be able to listen without judging?
A psychologist? No.
A psychiatrist? No.
Maybe a pediatrician…that sounds like an option.
Iāll let you know who I find!