Our Autism Journey

Something is Different – Entry #1

January 30, 2020

I can feel it

I have recently stopped myself telling people that I feel *Joe is different. Not random people either, but rather family members that keep telling me “he’s just a boy”, “he will develop his speech later” or “calm down Amy, you’re too uptight”. Joe is my child and will always be my sweet little boy, but I know something is different in him and the reason I want to figure out what these differences are, is because I want HIM to have an easy life. Well, as easy as any other child, I suppose.

It is not just that it seems he is struggling to formulate words, although the Pediatrician has said he shows no signs of apraxia or dyspraxia (what does that even mean?!) It seems he wants to communicate but in a different way – in his own way. I want to find out how to give him this gift of communication. I will stand on my head and make animal sounds, if needs be. Please Joe, I am here. Even though the world is not there for neither me, nor you, I will be here waiting for you and loving you. All of you.

Honestly, I don’t know what the next step is. Do I trust my gut and insist on speaking to more doctors or do I just wait patiently? Who wrote the manual on this and where can I find it. Google sure is not helping me with these questions.

For now, I need sleep. It’s almost 2am and Joe usually wakes up around 5am, which I hear is normal for a 3 year old…

Good night world x